Getting to the Root of Low Self-Esteem In Women
- Natasha Baylor
- Nov 18, 2024
- 6 min read
Updated: Mar 4
Hey Sis! Thanks 🖤 for visiting my blog! I really do appreciate the gift of your presence.🌹 I send you love and hope you’re able to take away something positive from your time here.
Low self-esteem has plagued me since childhood. I’m 48 years old, Generation X, and I had no idea that I didn’t have a good opinion of myself.
According to the Better Health Channel, self-esteem is your opinion of yourself. People with low self-esteem don’t have a good opinion of themselves and are unhappy or unsatisfied with themselves most of the time.
What? This is crazy! I have a very good opinion of myself. Or at least I thought I did. But as I dug a little deeper within myself, I found that it is indeed true. I do have a low self-esteem.
After swallowing this hard pill, I decided to 1. Investigate the root cause of my low self-esteem and 2. Share my findings because I’m sure other women are experiencing this very same thing and could use some advice on how to boost their self-esteem.
This Blog Post Covers…
What is Low Self-Esteem?
What Causes Low Self-Esteem in Women?
How to Determine if You Have Low Self-Esteem?
What are The Emotions Associated with Low Self-Esteem?
Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem!
What Is Low Self-Esteem?
Per Health Direct, low self-esteem is having a negative opinion about yourself. When could I have developed a negative opinion about myself I thought? 🤔 After some pondering, I discovered that the negative opinion I’ve carried of myself throughout my life became a part of my core belief system during childhood. Why would I develop a negative opinion of myself so early on in my life? I pondered next.
What Causes Low Self-Esteem In Women?
My investigation then led me to research the causes of low self-esteem in women.
Some of the causes I found were:
If you suffered verbal, physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse as a child.
If you felt like you didn’t fit in.
You had critical parents and you found it difficult to meet their expectations.
You were neglected as a child.
A lack of encouragement to strive for greater success in life.
You were bullied as a child.
You didn’t feel seen or heard as a child.
In today’s times, I feel that social media is having a negative impact on our teenage girls’ self-esteem because they are led the believe that their worth is defined by how they look or behave. As opposed to who they are inside.
How to Determine if You Have Low Self-Esteem?
I’ve found that signs of low self-esteem show up in a variety of ways in our everyday lives.
a Fear of Failure
As I explored the term ‘fear of failure’, I believe I feared failure subconsciously. I say this because I consciously felt like I was moving forward in life. Growing and expanding in my personal life and career with fear NOT being a factor. But when I reflect, I was really just regurgitating the same life patterns and habits year after year. I honestly believe I avoided major change because major change potentially opens the door to extreme challenges. And extreme challenges can be terrifying. Plus I also think I was comfy in my happy yet stagnant existence.
a Poor Outlook on Life and Oneself
I didn’t necessarily have a poor outlook on life for myself but I did have a poor outlook on my physical appearance. And I feel this also contributed to my low self-esteem. No matter how hard I tried, I could never maintain a size that I was happy with. I would join the gym at the beginning of the year just like everyone else, New Year, New Me, with the intention of creating a new routine that would help me create a body that I was proud of and maintain it. WRONG! Life would happen. The excuses would come in. The routine became a flop.
a Negative Inner Dialogue or Self-Talk
Another way I determined that I have low self-esteem is from the harsh, condemning, 🗣️EXPECTING ME TO BE PERFECT inner self-talk that I hear within me. (YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE IT BETTER THAN THAT. YOU BETTER GET IT RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. YOU BITCH!) 😢
Something Has To Change…
What are The Emotions Associated with Low Self-Esteem?
Per the Better Health Channel, some of the emotions associated with low self-esteem are:
Anger —> which may cause you to bully others.
Doubt —> fear of trying. You may doubt your abilities or worth and avoid challenges.
Perfectionism —> a person may push themselves and become an overachiever to atone for what they see as inferiority.
And per The University of Texas at Austin Counseling and Mental Health Center, some other associated emotions are:
Anxiety
Stress
Loneliness
Increased likelihood of depression
Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem!
One of the ways I’ve found to increase my self-esteem is through affirmations. Reciting affirmations regularly has really helped me to reshape the way I think of myself. They are helping me to transmute (change) the negative inner self-talk that I’ve carried within me almost my whole life to something that is supportive of me and helps to inspire me. 😌
Some Examples Are:
I am worthy.
I am enough.
I believe in myself.
I believe in my abilities.
I accept myself.
I love myself.
To really drill down on how I adapted a mindset of low self-esteem, after reciting my affirmations, I ask myself questions to uncover the root cause of my low self-esteem. This is known as shadow work.
Why do I feel unworthy?
Why do I feel like I’m not enough?
Why don’t I believe in myself? My abilities?
Why don’t I accept myself?
Why don’t I love myself?
Another way I’ve been able to start improving my self-esteem is by talking with myself regularly. I’m in meetings with myself damn near every day, all day! 😂 But no for real…I just always want to have a pulse on where I’m at throughout my day to ensure that I’m managing my emotions, remaining authentic, and that I’m happy. And if not, I’m finding out why and working towards a solution. 💡
Other Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem Per mind.org Are:
Get to know yourself. —> What makes you happy and what you value in life.
Try to challenge unkind thoughts about yourself.
Recite positive things to yourself. —> You is beautiful…You is smart. 😊
Practice saying no. —> No 🙅🏾 is a complete sentence.
Try to avoid comparing yourself to others. —> Be someone important, Be Yourself. The position of ‘others’ is already taken!
Do something nice for yourself. —> Self-care anyone?!
I hope you’ve found this blog post, Getting to The Root of Low Self-Esteem in Women, insightful. I feel the way to heal anything emotional, mental, or spiritual is to go to the root of the wound and see why it exists in the first place. In the case of improving your self-esteem, healing the wound will help you to create a better relationship with yourself and an overall better outlook on life.
See you on the next blog post! 🙋🏾
Natasha 🧚🏾
💎 BE you and DO what inspires YOU. 💎
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About the Author!
Natasha Baylor is a Stay-At-Home-Wife out of Georgia who is passionate about helping others develop a healthy relationship with themselves and break free from the limiting mental, emotional, and spiritual patterns that have plagued humanity for lifetimes.
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DISCLAIMERS
All rights reserved to Natasha Baylor. No part of this blog post may be reproduced or used in any manner without the prior written permission of the copyright owner, Natasha Baylor, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or for a social media post.
The contents of this blog post are that of my own personal thoughts, experiences, and research. I do not guarantee any results, nor do I accept any personal responsibility for how the contents of this blog post are perceived and/or utilized. My intentions are rooted in love, and I pray that this blog post serves ONLY your highest good.
This was an amazing read!!!